not a normal post..

Ciao a tutti.

Okay, today I will update you on something that usually isn't in other AFSer's giddy little blogs. This will be about the emotional rollercoaster that exchange puts you on. I've spoken about this a little before, but not really in depth.

First of all, there is a ton of pressure from everyone for me to learn my host language. Teachers, adults, students, friends, sisters, and random strangers like to lecture me about how I suck at Italian and how I need to learn it. I know this, I came here to learn Italian. I study Italian in my house.

Host family relationships. Okay, I've grown up a lot since I've came here. I realize that not everyone is going to want me living in their house. It's just something that you have to accept. So, you might have a host sibling that gives you the cold shoulder or sneers at you every time you say something. Also, it's something that I constantly have to work at. Now I am trying to be in the living room more often. If I am just reading a book or on the computer or something. This is sort of new to me and outside my little man-cave-like room. My security blanket.

Also about family, the way everything works in this one is different from my American family. In America, the members in my family are more independent. Like, I make my own lunch, I wash my own dish, I do my own laundry, I clean what I am supposed to, and I get paid an allowance for it. Here, someone makes lunch for everyone, everyone cleans up afterwards, I put my laundry in with everyone else's, when something needs to be done, I should do it without being asked, or if someone needs help, I should help them without them asking and even if they reply "Noooo" to my question of "do you need help with that?". The children get money whenever they ask for it really also. Not better or worse, just different from my American family. Takes some getting used to.

Other relationships. Friends, boyfriend, and other exchange friends. These are my social groups. There are little subcircles, but thats the general idea. Basically I am trying to hang out with new people, anyone, all the time. Just my only problem now is thinking,' yeah this is fun now but, when I'm gone in 7 months I won't see them ever again.' I have to stop thinking this. Because if I was going to think like this, what was the point of going on exchange anyways? I know I'm going to come back to Italy a lot. Because, what, I'm going to learn Italian, and never visit Italy?

Okay, I will have a more practical and happy post soon.

A presto.